Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Give my regards to the lime glazed cornmeal cookie

My sister is here from LA. She told me about a weird moment with an ex who worked closely with my uncle. They were best friends and were exiled together.

Sister: So we were having phone sex [the night before he was exiled]. I asked him to tell me his deepest darkest fantasies...

The ex starts to divulge some naughties, then his tone changes. He starts crying

Ex: it hurts! it hurts! its hurts

My sister is freaking.

Sister: What? What's going on? What's hurting you?

Ex: Its (my uncle) his putting his dick up my ass! It hurts! It hurts! It hurts!

Basically, her ex wanted my uncle to fuck him and he told my sister that while they were supposed to have phone sex the night before he was thrown out of his country for shit that he did with my uncle.


In other news: Which work best:

Durex Ultra(?) Sensitive- the actual rubber is red
Trojan's Very Sensitive- the box is purple

And the most beloved one of them all...

Lifestyles Non-Lubricated- the small square packet is maroon.

Other than work, this takes up most of my thoughts and energy. Trojan ENZ sucks while anything with Nononxyl (sp?) 9 gives me the itchies. Durex condoms are too tight for him. Tragically, Lifestyles is discontinuing the non-lubricated I guess because not a lot of people like it dry.

So I continue my search! Onward!


Nichelle said...

trojans Gold

yummicoco said...

Magnums no good- it makes Sax feel really good about himself though which is pretty hilarious.