Are you my plus one?

As I sit here sweating my breasts off, I am wondering what I should write about first... My new job and how I am Queen of the Interns, last night's wedding in which I got drunk off loads of champagne and danced to Merengue with Sax silently thinking "please stop dancing like a goofy white guy!!!"

Colette: why don't you try to dance like that white guy over there.

He ignored me and kept doing his thing.

Gave a homeless woman my coconut dunkin donut this evening a second before taking it out of the bag. Good weight loss strategy plus I am helping out the community. Drank my caramel iced latte as I walked south on 6th ave while talking to Pickle. Its only for her that I will stand out on street corners for an hour and a half in kitten heels.

Saw a drunk old black man get jacked of his Newports by some Puerto Rican dude on the F train Saturday night.

The old man was fucked up and barely intelligible.

Moments before the theft, a chunky blond girl wearing burkenstocks and sporting a massive weggie, stood in front of him on the train.

old man; auh, jusnsiothjgltlkg.. bab....yyyy. I give .....yous some of that nigga dick.....bebe buhbiubihihgohrnenryoiwn

Then a Jewish man who looked like Garry Shandling cousin's (blow out hair and all) was trying to show off to a woman half his age so he told the old dude to "shut up". Then the old man mumbled "suck my dick". After that the old man got robbed and everyone watched as it happened. I moved to another seat.

I love New York City. I love Caramel Lattes from Dunkin Donuts. Iced.

Speaking of yous.

So the wedding of Cristina and Jose took place last night at Seasons in Washington Township, New Jersey. Beautiful wedding. Open bar.

Before the ceremony, Sax and I took a walk outside. Still daylight, we reached the back area of Seasons. Saw a trashy looking lady with a ratty ponytail descend from a car. Dressed in a waiter's tuxedo, she took a last drag from her cigarette, threw it down like "fuck you, cigarette", and walked into Seasons through the employee entrance- gripping her Dunkin Donuts Extra Large Iced Coffee, of course.

Colette: that's Jersey style.

Sax: yeah.