Monday, November 08, 2004

There are a few things that I must avoid mentioning about this weekend.

Three things that I realized this weekend:
1) You are better off being yourself
2) If you are not invisible, why start now?
3) Stay away from bad men

Let's Begin...

Friday was chill night at the apartment. I don't remember much. I went to sleep early.

Saturday was an early start. Bagel with cream cheese then I went over to the Dominicans to get my hair done. Vanessa, my college roommate, came into the city from Boston that afternoon "just to see me" she said...

Colette: Did you have a fight with your boyfriend?

Vanessa: No, I just really wanted to see you.

Good times. Laughed about her boyfriend, family and shaving. I mentioned the book, "He's just not that into you"

Vanessa: Yeah I heard on Oprah, women are so embarrassed they cover it up with something while they read it on the train.

We chatted in my yellow bedroom. I introduced her to my cats. My roommate and her best friend, our neighbor, were also home watching an Israeli comedy.

***So what really happened?***

Vanessa and I decided to walk over the to Barnes and Noble on 7th ave in Park Slope to check out..."He's just not that into" I know. I am obsessed. I refuse to buy the book so I will either read excepts online or I will skim through it at the bookstore. Its just hilarous. Men are not deep but for some reason women constantly give them the benefit of the doubt. I gave NoNOb the benefit of the doubt. He called me Sunday night but I did not pick up. He also friendster'ed me this morning.

So its on our walk that I notice a sign for a psychic. Its only $5.

Vanessa: No, I stay away from those things. I wouldn't even go to Spooky World with my little sister last week because that stuff freaks me out.

So I went in by myself.

She basically fed me the usual will be moving soon, you will be travelling, etc. Then she told me that I had two men in my life. One that I DON'T want but SHOULD and one that is a "bad man".

Colette: But I don't talk to HIM anymore (he's not that into me)

She warned me to stay away from him. She also saw TWO LETTERS ON MY HAND, one of which I recognized immediately. The psychic made some connections that were pretty right on, especially since I did not help her with any information. "Don't trust them" she told me. "They have a secret that would not be in your best interest to know about"

"Thanks but I don't even talk to any of those people. I have nothing to do with them." I told her... and with that I left.

Talking to Vanessa at a Thai place nearby did not help me figure out what the psychic was trying to tell me.

Colette: Vanessa, are you listening to me?

Vanessa: (eyes snap into place) Um, what?

*Vanessa went back to Boston Saturday night. I ate 20 cookies. I blame my cycle*

I ate a whole box of cookies Sunday morning while watching Dr. Strangelove. I love George C. Scott. When he met his first and third wife, Colleen Dewhurst, he crept up behind her in a back stairwell and whispered "allow me this ingress". That quote is the source of my frustrations with men and possibly the reason why that psychic warned me about the "bad man". Of course I could be misquoting Mr. Scott, so maybe I need to forget about the whole thing.

By Sunday afternoon, I was ready to work off those cookies so I decided to go for a walk. It was such a beautiful day. I sat under a tree and called my sister, Francoise, in North Carolina. She told me about an actress named Jeri Ryan that recently divorced her husband, a former senator and sex addict. She told me that the senator forced Ryan to go to sex clubs with him in Europe. I immediately wondered if that was the "bad man"'s secret that I was better off not knowing...

***Colette is still on her walk. She asks him,"So What's Heroin Like?"***

An initial on my hand: "Oh, its amazing every time you do it. You can go a whole week without doing it and it still feels like the first time."

Long story short, the psychic was right. I think that I shall stay far far away.


dissnchanted said...

NoNob...hmmmm....I take it his 'manhood' is less than satisfactory in size. No good.
Glad you got to see lil' Boom Boom. Is she still meeting corny men on the web? Her reason for coming to visit sounds a bit shady, especially if she was only there for a day.
Wish I could eat a box full of cookies. If I did, I would most likely die a slow and painful death. Writhing on the ground with my arms and legs convulsing, like a roach that just won't die.
In other news, I discovered yesterday that I no longer have any junk in da trunk. Very painful realization for me. Mental note: must get JLo booty implant. Also the "twins" have shriveled and can now be compared to cue balls stuffed in tube socks. (What an amazing visual) Mental note #2: Must get twins revamped. In other words, my body is a complete and utterly disgusting mess.
As for your weekend "moments of zen", #3 is most definately true. Bad boys can be exciting at times, but, in the end you need a nice guy. It took me WAY too long to figure that one out. Nip that shlottin in the bud and JUST SAY NO to the bad ones. A lot less drama that way.
With those words of wisdom, I must depart to prepare for class.........
btw- can you email me your addy, i got a little sumpin sumpin to send yo stank ass (like my display of ghettoness? hehe)

yummicoco said...

It not so much that NoNOb is small--he's a total pussy. he was a good lover though so his size did not matter. ha ha!

vanessa "boom boom" is just that type of girl that would come into nyc mysterously and leave that same day. I could know her my whole life and never know her completely--if that makes any sense. boom boom is an enigma.

I know you look hot. small ones are totally in.