It's July Motherfuckers

Since my last blog entry, I have...

-bought 10 bags of cat food
-bought 10 packets of Kimono condoms
-shaved my legs 30 times
-threaded my eyebrows 3 times.

Sax showed insensitivity yesterday after the 4th of July festivities. I always tell him that he is like a little puppy dog--overly excited, ready to hump, easily distracted and on occasion has been known to piss all over the place.

But he's a sweet puppy even when his bark seems malicious.

Enough dog metaphors! Sax invited his friend Bass Player who could be good looking if he did not have salt and pepper colored hair and lived in Queens. Anyone rockin' S&P and over the age of 35 just seem so fucking old. But it's nothing that Just For Men couldn't fix.

Yummicoco to BGA: He's single. No?

BGA: No way! No S&P!

When does S&P become sexy? Did I mention that Bass Player also has a tuft S&P chest hair? I am almost positive that carpet matches.