Letting your cat lick your stomach is abuse!

UPDATE:
Sunday Girl called me this morning with an urgent question....

Sunday Girl: What's the name of your gynocologist?

Apparently, the florida anal de-virginizer sent her friend home to NYC riddled with gyno-problems and painful constipation. Maybe the old addage is right: Always pee right after you fuck some guy you met off AOL (that bought your plane ticket for a sex filled trip to florida a week after starting a correspondance with you) before engaging in more hedonistic activity.

JACKIE AND STELLA

Joshua, the 21 year old Puerto Rican from Staten Island called last night. Talked about lots of things. At one point, he seemed a little snappish when answering one of my questions. I told MBB about this....

Colette: I hope he doesn't try to smack me around or something...

MBB: ummmm, yeah! (she's back at school. get it.)

Colette: no, I mean make my nose bloody after he breaks it.

MBB: shut the fuck up, Colette. he's not going to do that.

Back to the conversation: He asked me "So, what else is there to know about you." So I said it. It was bound to come out sometime...

Colette: Well, I have two cats.

Joshua: oh

Colette: Yeah, Jackie and Stella. Jackie is the boy cat. He's on his way to becoming 20 pounds even though he's only a year old. His sister, Stella, is smaller. She's...

Then he interupts me:

Joshua: So they like prolly leave cat hair all over your couch and your clothing right?

Colette: Yeah...

Joshua: That's disgusting.

Colette: How is that disgusting? They are cute and cuddy and I love them. They are my babies.

Joshua: They are not your babies. That's sick too. They are cats...

We went back and forth...

Joshua: What the difference... what if I was cute and cuddly and left my human hair all over your apartment? That's nasty too.

Colette: I don't want your human hair on my couch!

Joshua: I should have known when I met you... "Hi, my name is Colette and I don't trust men"

Colette: Wait, I never said that.

He claimed that I did. I agreed that I didn't trust men but what kind of bizarro would tell a stranger that upon first meeting him. I am sure that I never said that to him.

Joshua: Why would I make that up?

Colette: Well, obviously from my stories about my cats... and you said that you like to read a lot...

Joshua: How did you know that I like to read a lot?

Colette: You told me in our last conversation...anyway, I am sure that you like to dissect people and so you figured that I did not trust men because I love my cats so much. I would never say that to a person that I just met. That's just bizarre. You know what... you are bizarre.

Joshua: Wait. did you just call me bizzarre?

Colette: So are you gonna take me out or what?

We are going to see BAD EDUCATION this weekend.

When deciding on a meeting place, I suggested Virgin Record Store.

Joshua: Nah, I'd feel like I am 13 again meeting girls in front of Virgin...

Colette: Yeah as if Virgin Record Store existed when you were 13...

Joshua: Um, yeah... 8 years ago... yeah....


Yeah, we'll see what happens.