Monday, January 03, 2005

Even Rocky had a montage

Happy New Year!

What did some people do on their new year holiday?
-My roommate got high on chocolate covered mushrooms at Motherfucker
-Sunday Girl's friend lost her anal virginity in Florida
-Pickle and Vanessa watched the fireworks from the Boston Harbour

What did I do?
-I rocked my red diesel sneakers all weekend.... oh and I ate cow tongue at a Haitian dinner party New Years Day.

Thursday:
Nothing to do at work so watched PARIS, TEXAS with the only assistant stuck working that day. Amazing. Beautiful. Story unravels slowly like warm Jazz but what a joy to watch! You must see this movie if you haven't. Left work early. Took a nap. That night, chilled with friends and a couple of other girls at MANAHATTA...

I wore my orange shirt and my despretely seeking susan necklace. Asked myself the eternal question before heading out the door: Should I wear a bra with this?

On the dancefloor:
friend: Yo, that guy has man breasts...

Colette: I dare you to go squeeze it...

friend: Nah, you can do that...

So I turned around, squeezed his left bitch tit and turned back to my friend. We laughed. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was some other guy wanting to dance with me. He was big and meaty (I squeezed his chest too), told me his name was Joshua.

Colette: Where are you from?

Joshua: Staten Island

Colette: Oh, I'm sorry...

He's 21and kept saying "I like you" as we danced. A little strange but endearing...he asked me what my SATs scores were...

Colette: Higher than yours.

Gave him my number. He called an hour later as my friends and I were eating late night Arabic food. Was a little spooked by that but Vanessa told me that most eager 21 year old guys would do something like that... I guess.

Friday:

Getting dressed for New Years festivites in front of the mirror. Stella, my girl cat, is watching me. Something falls behind her but she does not flich... I think to myself: Do cats have morals?


New Years Festivities included bad service at a Japanese resto. in the Flatiron...Rhoum was hella-fied pissed off but Ann let management have it. Got a free meal and champagne because of it. Then headed over to my cousin's friend's party to ring in the new year. Then went to Solas. Then went to Motherfucker to see the Bravery. Stood in front of the stage. I thought the lead singer was so sexy. I would have teased him with my anal virginity if KKEGEL hadn't remarked that he looked like Morrissey. There is something just not sexy about Morrissey plus I would like to keep my anal virginity.

All that dancing and no men got me fantasizing hamburgers. We leave Motherfucker around 5:50 am.

KKEGEL: yeah, I could really do with something to eat right now...

Colette: OMG, Tick Tock Diner!!!

We ran towards 8th ave. Finally went to bed at 8 am.

Saturday:

Slept all day. Went to a Haitian dinner party in Prospect Park, Brooklyn with my aunt and uncle and my cousin. Lots of people. Lots of food. Some dancing to compas music. Made a friend, Rich, 24. My cousin and I sat in the designated kids room for most of the night. Ages ranged from 9 to 16. All the kids pretty much ignored us and monopolized the television. We amused ourselves by singing the jam from Grease 2.

Colette: Remember...I love you...

Cousin: ... you won't be far away.

Colette: I close my eyes.. and something something.. to bring back yesterdaaaaay....

Colette and Cousin: ...and we'll be there...

KIDS ARE STILL IGNORING US....

Colette and Cousin: ...toge-hay-ther...love will turn back the hands of timmmmmmeee...

IGNORING US

Colette and Cousin: Whoa Ho...turn back ...Whoa Ho.. turn back...Whoa Ho the hands of time...we'll turn back....Whoa Ho..

Sunday:
Food Co-Op shopping. Went to SHOUT! at Bar 13 with my roommate. Before getting up the nerve to dance, we spot a hipster in ski clothing at the bar...

Colette: What do you think his name is? He looks a Martin or Allistar or something.

Roommate: Allister?

Colette: Yeah, something about the shaggy blond hair makes him look British.

I ask a couple of other girls with cool fishnets what they thought...

Fat Girl: Yeah, he looks like he might have a K at the end of his name

Colette: Yeah, like Yan-uc-k (I need a new pair of jeans)

So I go up to him

Colette: s'excuse me, but is your name Allister?

Blond Guy: Um, no.

Colette: Um, so what's your name then?

Blond Guy: David.

Colette: Colette

Shake hands. Nice Guy. I go back to the girls to announce his name, he follows me with invites to his next show. Band's called The Garretts. Gave me some advice about DJing.

MONDAY. FIRST DAY BACK AT WORK.

Trained the new receptionist at my old building. Heard an executive fart just before the elevator door shut as I sat giggling from the shock at my desk. Its a new year. God bless us one and all.

12 comments:

Allison Bojarski said...

Next time you're invited for a home-cooked Haitian feast, I'm tagging along.

Happy New Year!

YUMMICOCO said...

yeah, good food. there is a good place on flatbush called kombit. never been but my cousin likes it. we can go there sometime.

Allison Bojarski said...

alright, darling, i'm holding you to that offer.

YUMMICOCO said...

yeah, he probably thought that he could get away with it cuz it happened right when the elevator door was closing... but I heard it. busted. gross.

so tired last night. went to bed at 9:45. woke up, watched fast times at ridgemont high and did some yoga.

YUMMICOCO said...

found a gemini PMX 3501 mixer for $70. is that a good deal?

KW said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
KW said...

Whoops just deleted my comment by mistake. Recently discovered you via Bob, me likey :).

YUMMICOCO said...

thanks for the shout out

YUMMICOCO said...

thanks PB. I am going to buy it. will do about black betty.

Anonymous said...

morrissey is unfuckably gay. unlike gays that are tasty to all, but only
touched by the boys they desire. this has to be another truth, for why else
would he write his eteranlly lonesome lyrics?

KKEGEL

Avram Polinsky said...

I've heard that Vin Diesel is a mo.
Hearing an exec fart would be almost as satisfying as when one of my 6th grade teachers busted ass in class. It's hard enough to get 11 year olds to respect you; farting in front of them doesn't help.

YUMMICOCO said...

its funny. I have not seen that exec since... I doubt he's even thinking "OMG the receptionist heard me fart. better not go back there!" whatever. I'd like to think that I am even a little bit intimidating.

Vin Diesel is so NOT sexy plus he is obviously a pussy. Be a gay black man, VIn! Spacey is full-on mo and Andy dick is probably riddled with STDs and I am sure that he likes to be on the bottom---with Vin on top of course.