Friday, July 15, 2005

Can you do it with a spoon?

I have pink eye. I also insuluted an Argentinian as I was making my way out of Hiro last night. It all started at a backyard Bastille Day celebration downtown. Too many trendies and stuck-ups but the beaujoulais was fruity and nice.

Standing around with Dave and Uncle Ron, we were trying to figure out whether or not one of the partygoers was really a man.

Colette: Well her shape is box-y.

Dave: Yeah I totally saw an adam's apple...

Colette: Yeah, makes you wanna just go over there and you know... (I make the gesture of grabbing balls)

We laugh then she comes around to talk to a man and younger man that were standing near us.

Uncle Ron: You still think...

Dave: oh yeah (as he takes a sip of beaujoulais- I know I am spelling it wrong)

Colette: Well, its all about following your intuition

She Male: What? What about intuition? What are you talking about?

We are stunned. Our balls shrivel up as hers puff out in defense. Shit! So we cover our asses. "Just talking about life" Uncle Ron says. "Yeah, its important to never doubt your first instinct." I say as Dave sips his beaujoulais.

She keeps talking...about what she does... possibly buying a co-op in Chinatown... "oh, this is my husband and stepson" she points. Dave, Uncle Ron and I were standing next to them the whole time. Of course!

She was forgiving enough to give us the skinny on the next event which turned out to be a mob scene. More trendies and more stuck-ups mixed in with ghetto fabs. We quickly left.

Then we got escorted through a back entrance into Hiro. Its not that cool how it happened. Really. But one must fake it just a little.

So onto the final destination, Hiro!

Its 11:30pm, I am exhausted and itchy eyed, looking for the exit door. I see a trendy...

Colette: is this the exit to go out?

Trendy: Oh, to the coatroom?

Colette: No, I have to get out of here.

Trendy: Oh, you have to go that way...

I detected an accent. Possibly French- at least he had the look of bourgeois scrufness like a French guy anyway. I endeavored to find out. After all, part of my job is to learn how to connect with people so I decided to befriend him.

Colette: What's your name?

He tells me.

Colette: Parlez Francais?

He tells me that he Argentinian

Colette: Oh, wow. So are there like phrases in Argentina? Like how in Costa Rica they say Pura Vida... (am I drunk? dear reader, I don't know)

He laughs. So I keep going.

Colette: Yeah, like Eva Peron or "the disappeared"... Do you know anyone that disappeared?

I laughed. He is horrified because its like asking a stranger "your mother was crushed by a fire truck in 9/11, right?" or "yeah, did your grandmother scream as she was being burned alive in the ovens at Bergen Belsen?" and "did you know anyone that hid out in Hotel Rwanda? ha ha ha"

Trendy: Um, well yes I knew people that disappeared but that is not a phrase...

Colette: Oh ok. Well, good night.

Trendy: good night.

He was polite and I was a dick with saggy balls dissing transsexuals in front of their families and making fun of social atrocities.

I had a fun night though.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did you know that Germans celebrate the fall of the Berlin Wall in October even though it happened in November? The reason is that it happened on the same day as Cristal Nacht (sp?) and so they thought it would be crass to rejoice on that day.

-Knuckles Molonely.

Anonymous said...

so I guess I am not that heartless then.

I moved in with my boyfriend.

Yummicoco is not dead. She will return soon.

-yummicoco

Anonymous said...

Hot News From The Automotive Lending Industry!!

+++++++++Current Profile+++++++++
InterFinancial Holdings, Corp (IFLH)
Current Price $0.036
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Is this an undiscovered gem priced to go higher!!
Please read the following Announcement in its Entirety and Consider the Possibilities�
Watch this One to Trade!

IFLH announces Senator David Cain has joined its Board of Directors!!

IFLH volume trading is beginning to surge with landslide Announcement. The value of this
stock appears poised for growth! This one should not remain on the ground floor for long.

BREAKING NEWS!!
InterFinancial Holdings, Corp. (OTC Pink Sheets: IFLH - News) announced that they have added
David Cain to their board of directors. David Cain is currently the Chairman of the advisory
board to TTI (Texas Transportation Institute). Senator Cain represented Senate District 2 for
eight years in the Texas Senate and Chaired the Senate State Affairs Subcommittee on
Transportation and served nine terms in the Texas House of Representatives for District 107.

During his twelve years as Chairman of the House Committee on Transportation, Senator Cain�s
efforts on behalf of the people of Texas have been widely recognized. He was named to Texas
Monthly Magazine�s list of Ten Best Legislators, the Dallas Morning News said he was one of
the outstanding legislators of the 73rd session, and the Texas Department of Transportation
awarded him the Russell H. Perry Award in 1995 for his efforts to gain public awareness of
the need for and benefits of transportation facilities in the State of Texas.

Jeffrey C. Bruteyn, Managing Director, stated, We at InterFinancial are proud to have such a
widely recognized Senator join our board and oversee out automotive lending division. His
affiliations and connections to the automotive industry will be invaluable to our company.
Senator Cain will be instrumental in expediting our approval to use a government issued Seller
Finance License.

Seller Finance Licenses are very difficult to obtain and are usually reserved for the Big Boys
with heavy lobbyists. These licenses are highly coveted because it allows the finance company
to collect the entire down payment, instead of paying a portion of it to the taxing authority.
This dramatically helps a finance company�s bottom line if the buyer defaults on the loan.

With the new GPS tracking systems being installed on every car to dramatically improve
repossessions and with Senator Cain on the Board of Directors, InterFinancial Holdings
is ready to take their business to the next level.

Conclusion:

The examples above show the Awesome, Earning Potential of little known Companies
That Explode onto Investor�s Radar Screens. This stock will not be a Secret for long.
Then You May Feel the Desire to Act Right Now! And Please Watch This One Trade!!
GO IFLH!

All statements made are our express opinion only and should be treated as such. We may own,
take position and sell any securities mentioned at any time. Any statements that express or
involve discussions with respect to predictions, goals, expectations, beliefs, plans,
projections, objectives, assumptions or future events or performance are not statements of
historical fact and may be "forward looking statements." Forward looking statements are based
on expectations, estimates and projections at the time the statements are made that involve a
number of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual results or events to differ materially
from those presently anticipated. This newsletter was paid four thousand dollars from a party
(IR Marketing). Forward looking statements in this action may be identified through the use of
words such as: "projects", "foresee", "expects". in compliance with Section 17(.b), we disclose
the holding of IF LH shares prior to the publication of this report. Be aware of an inherent
conflict of interest resulting from such holdings due to our intent to profit from the liquidation
of these shares. Shares may be sold at any time, even after positive statements have been made
regarding the above company. Since we own shares, there is an inherent conflict of interest in
our statements and opinions. Readers of this publication are cautioned not to place undue reliance
on forward-looking statements, which are based on certain assumptions and expectations involving
various risks and uncertainties that could cause results to differ materially from those set forth
in the forward- looking statements. This is not solicitation to buy or sell stocks, this text is
for informational purpose only and you should seek professional advice from registered financial
advisor before you do anything related with buying or selling stocks, penny stocks are very high
risk and you can lose your entire investment.