Monday, April 04, 2005

push it in, pull it out. what's wrong with talking?

Great weekend. Hung out with my boyfriend in Williamsburg. We went to mass together yesterday. Introduced him to a few of my friends as well.

Colette: he's kind of dorky.

Alexis: um, yeah....

RKB and Alice Ayers had a fabulously steamy party at their pad in Williamsburg. Matt the publicist, Nichelle, Brazilian Muse, Aeki Tuesday, Heidi, BGA and Alexis were all in attendance.

At the party, Lex asked an incredibly insightful question to the only two black men at the party.

Lex: WHAT IS A DEAL BREAKER WHEN SLEEPING WITH A WOMAN?

My answer: "talking"

I am what is commonly known as a talker. Dirty talk, talk about Vera Drake and how the movie was kind of flat, talk about how Cicely Tyson was once involved with Miles Davis... I even asked to borrow $20 the other day...

One of the black men: That just means that you are not getting IT good enough so you are distracted.

Lex: yeah, when I'm fucking, I can't think about anything else.

But that's the thing. I do it all the time! Any guy that I have ever been with- I talk. But that doesn't mean that I am not having a good time. It just seems so normal to me.

After I hooked up with some asshole last year, he told me...

"You need a boyfriend"

While I was having sex with french guy back in the fall on our friends' couch, I would not shut the fuck up.

Colette: who did you get your ears from? your dad?

French guy: nooooo..... my graaandfaaather

Colette: really? what do you call your dad? Pap--pa?

Funny enough, the men usually responded back... the fact that most did not CALL back for another romp was my answer that they didn't like it. But Sax doesn't care so I neither do I.

15 comments:

AlexisT said...

Black men keep it real.

Sat. night was too fun, too fun...

Christie said...

I am going to have to go ahead and agree with Alexis on this one. When I'm having sex...and it's to my liking...I first of all describe it as being fucked.

When I'm getting fucked, I can think of anything! Words are not really possible. If they are, it's more like "one word" instructions. ;-)

Usually something to the extent of:

"harder"

"lefffffftttttt"

"faster!"

"don't-stop" (which to most people would seem like a two word instruction, but not during sex. It's definately squished together enough to convince the other person I'm making up words.)

Was that too much information? I think so. ;-) With that thought, I'll boogie on out.

yummicoco said...

speaking of black men keeping it real: tried to go to a free screening of sahara tonight. the 90- year- old- looking- black man taking tickets summarily shut me down with "sold out" as I was pulling the printed e-vite out of my bag. as I turned towards the door, my cousin heard him mutter "look at that ass..."

I love black men! I love all men!

oh yeah, happy birthday Planet B! what happened after I left, lex?

Anonymous said...

-it was the guy w/the garbage bag on 11th street that said 'look at that ass.' -ccstar

yummicoco said...

oh yeah, thanks.

happy birthday, cousin

Anna said...

I agree with Lex and Christie that I'm not really able to talk coherently when sex is good. But if it works for you, and your boy doesn't care, I guess it's all good.

I LOVE talking about dealbreakers. Did the black guys say anything else? I saw "EDtv" this weekend, and at one point Matthew McConaghey rolls off of Liz Hurley and breaks her cat. I'm not a cat person, but if I was, that would be a deal breaker. As a non-cat person, I think it's really funny.

yummicoco said...

allthingschristie.com has a thing about killing kittens. so cute. the kitties are being chased by killer robots!

I love my kitties sooo much! I would die if my man crushed my kitty. ha! crushed my kitty. ever heard the expression "beat it up" ?

one of the black guys wanted to beat it up/crush my kitty. those dudes weren't talking about anything in particular. I thought that his associate was haitian because he had a sense of romanticism in his eyes.

what's your deal breaker, anna?

Jenny said...

no talking during sex. that's my #1 rule. it's such a turn off.

here are a few turn offs of my youth:

1. "did you like that?" when the act hasn't even been completed.

2. "grab this!" or "no the left one. yeah grab it." unfortunately the person had to ass to grab.

3. "was that good for you?" people still say this?!

4. "yesterday i found out that my local bodega sells cap'n crunch! you have no idea how many of those cereal boxes i bought today" this was foreplay.

so the morale of this tale is talking is bad or i just have to pick better partners :/

yummicoco said...

oh I love cap n' crunch. good food is foreplay... and there doesn't have to be any talking. its like eating a great burger.

my dad always bought corn flakes though cuz it was cheaper and sold in bigger quanties. then I would eat it haitian style with nestle quik and sugar.

constant updates are important! "yeah right there..." "slower" how else are you supposed to come? the other person's not a mind reader.

Christie said...

ahahaha. Jenny,

I have the same problems with those lines. "was that good for you" "oooh yah..how was that?"

So frustrating. If I wanted to talk with him, I'd pour him some mother f'ing tea.

I love you girls. I can't wait to be in New York. heh...

Oh the kitten killing thing is just a werid Fark (a geeky website) tradition of when we speak of masterbation. I suppose it helps make it sound cute.

AlexisT said...

Coco can eat mah Cornflakes.

Anna said...

My dealbreakers? B.O. We discussed that on Lexi's blog a while ago I think, since she loves the boys with the B.O. Hahahaha. Anyways, a guy with B.O. would never make it into my bed.

I once had a guy try and talk dirty to me - we were making out on a couch, sitting up, so I climbed on him, and was straddling him. He got all excited and more "into" it, and then said, "Uhhhhh. You're a hoooooootttttttttt one." It took a lot to not start laughing, but I tried to let it go. But then he said it again! I made up some lame excuse and booked it out of there.

Loser. Lame dirty talk, when you aren't even in BED, is a dealbreaker. And getting overly excited about first base is a dealbreaker too. I mean, c'mon. At least ACT cool.

yummicoco said...

B.Os ok just as long as their butt doesn't smell. gross. I guess that wouldn't be a deal breaker since I got that far but oh well.

I like St. Dalfour's strawberry tea.

Walking to my place late last night with Sax. These group of guys were like "puuurple rain, purplllle rain" as we walked past. hilarous. I lent him the DVD this morning.

brown bloggers on sunday at LAVA GINA! 7pm.

Anonymous said...

B.O is GROSS!!! -ccstar

Av said...

When I'm getting hot and heavy with a girl I can barely remember my name, let alone how to speak any non-nonsensical words.
I will admit that I am a bit of a bedroom giggler. Some chicks think it's cute, other just don't get it.