Lose the bag, its diabolical

Cough, sneeze, cough. I called out sick today. I am writing to you from my cousin's law school because my home comp is out of order and I am too cheap to go to kinkos. Today also marks my one year anniversary as a New Yorker. Still a Jersey girl at heart, a little hardened by the city.

Hung out with the brazillian muse and Gui last night at Black Betty in Williamsburg. There were some awesome non brazillian hipsters samba-ing like oh so well. I tried to emulate some of their brillance.

Colette: So how am I doing?

B. Muse: Um...you're getting there. (she's so nice)

So I must practice some more so that I can feel good at something.

Rhoum decided to celebrate her birthday saturday night at Iron Sushi in murray hill. Good sushi. Fresh sushi. Kooky sushi rolls like bananna roll and spinach roll. I ate 3 rolls-none of which were those rolls. We talked about guys, dumb guys, and guys that use us for sex.

Rhoum: Do I have a sign on my forehead that reads "friends with benefits"?

Colette: Well at least they want to hang out with you and be your friend. Maybe I have a sign that reads "Girlfriend". (ironic because I want friends with benefits)

Then Rhoum's BFF from BC, Keke, suggested that perhaps its Rhoum's independent nature that makes these dudes want to stay friends. Then the subject turned to clingy-ness and so I asked Rhoum if I was clingy.

Rhoum: Yeah...a little.

No I am not. Pinkle thinks that I am anti-clingy, that I am happy being a singular singleton.

Rhoum: Well you do like to attach yourself to big personalities.

Colette: I am a big personality. I'm Yummicoco.

So Rhoum and I talked for a couple of hours after that while watching the movie Addicted to Love. Funny moment happened when Matthew Brodrick, pleading to someone (don't remember) not to shoot him, yelled with hands raised "Please, I am not trying to hurt you"

Colette: That's what I need a man to say to me.

I left Rhoum and Keke around 1 to head to The Delancey. A little on the sucky side. Plus, I felt like a cornball in my sequenced top. Went home around 3 and cleaned out my cats' litterbox which was way more fun than that party. I love Feline Pine.

***FRIDAY***

...And it all ended with a guido, a frat party and a Rilo Kiley video.

The guido, Milan, finally called me last week to invite me to his frat party in Brooklyn Heights. I asked every girlfriend in the area, including Christine, my childhood friend that made pass at me friday before labor day, so that I would not have to go by myself. I totally planned on hooking up with him, but going by myself seemed condusive to gang banging. Sadly, no one wanted to go with me. Flora had a date. Lex was busy. Christine had to study. My roommate ended up hanging out with the Deftones in the East Village. Around 9:30, I called girl for her advice.

girl: Yeah, I don't know. Sounds like you want to go though.

As I was getting dressed to go to the frat party, I popped in a promotional dvd that I found in Paste magazine. The dvd was all "indie" music videos including Rilo Kiley's Its a Hit.

The video takes place in a paper machee, light brights kind of world where a boy and girl uni-pine (porcupine-like but with just one pine each instead of many pines) are living happily, rubbing their noses together in an underground lair. Its cute. All of a sudden, two cassette tapes steal the girl uni-pine away from her man!

Throughout the video, the boy uni-pine is trying to get back to his woman. Somehow they are reunited. Immediately, they start snuggling, but as the fates would have it, a hungry machine pulls the girl uni-pine away from her man and chews her up into bits. The video ends with the boy uni-pine exploding into light brights thereby destroying everything around him...

I burst into tears.

Colette: I'm not hooking up with that fucking guido.

Then I smoked the last of camel lights (because I am tourist) and I went to bed.