This morning the top button popped off my high-waisted booty-short-overalls in the office bathroom. Was is because I am a sinner--going against my weight class to wear something that someone 50 pounds lighter could wear without a hint of irony.
Doesn't matter. I just grabbed a couple of paper clips and shrugged it off to some urban outfitter malfunction.
A few years ago, when I was much skinner I went to an Anti-Valentine's Day party at the Royal Oak in Williamsburg. It was while playing spin the bottle in a private room, that I noticed a German looking guy with dark rimmed glasses enter the game. Each time he spun the glass, he kept getting my roommate JB. He was incredibly awkward and I noticed that my roommate was frustrated that she was only getting to smooch the clumsy German, a couple of girls (not me of course) and another lame guy. Then, it was the German's turn again. As the bottle slowly inched its way toward my direction, I moved over a little bit so that my roommate got stuck with the duty of kissing him again.
An hour into the game, I was starting to feel incredibly nauseous having had all of these strange hipster tongues down my throat. It was gross.
Outside of the private room, I chatted with one of the better kissers of the bunch, who shockingly was a kindergarten teacher. Turns out his girlfriend was one of the chicks made out with JB.
Blah Blah Blah...
...I eventually go up to the German. I thought he was cute and I was curious. My roommate thought that he was a total pervert.
yummicoco: are you german?
"No, I'm from LA."
And now I'm fat with a button missing from my booty shorts.
Happy Valentine's Day
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