You are my favorita and your place in my heart, dear, makes me feel more real

Last night at a going away party for a co-worker, I took a stab at giving advice to another marketing soldier.

Yummicoco: Do you believe in God?

Marketing Soldier: Well, I [blah blah--She's cool but I tuned her out because I knew she was going to go into some long explanation about her lack of faith. I was just trying to be social. Sax's friend John Richie likes Richard Dawkins. I think that everyone should believe in something. Last episode of Dawson's Creek, Jen told her baby before she died to believe in God. I love Pacey. I should never have asked for a second margarita... blah blah blah---she continues] I guess I would say that I am agnostic.

Yummicoco: Then, ask the universe. Say what you want out load. Just ask. Nothing lame like 'oh I want a boyfriend'. Say, 'I want a hot on top, brown haired, artistic, polite, 6 foot 2 man'-- whatever the hell you want. Be as specific as possible.

Saw a drunk lesbian rocking a leather biker jacket drop trow on the corner of 2nd and 1st ave as I walked over to the F train. As the loud crash of urine splattered the concrete, I picked up my pace and told my cousin what I advised my co-worker to do. She once asked God for a tall Haitian man and got a tall Haitian man.

Cousin: Did you get what you asked for?

Yummicoco: Well, yeah, but I should have asked for good table manners and for him to not always have food on his face and clothes.

Cousin: Yeah, no one ever thinks that they have to be that detailed but they do!

Flashback! As I headed over to Decibel for warm sake, I made a terrible joke connecting "prison" with the bar "Sing Sing". Someone laughed.

Yummicoco: That was such an awful joke. I have no sense of humor. I appreciate the fact that you laughed. Thank you.