Whoop that Trick: Urticaria! Thanks Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

It all started on Thursday. I did not feel like making dinner so I split a calzone with Sax. Then I had some strawberries and a couple of bites of ice cream. Then my fingertips started itching-then they began to swell. That was the start of my Friday 13th/MLK Jr Weekend in which I went to the emergency room not once but twice. I also watched Hustle and Flow which I found most entertaining between bouts of depression and swollen legs and hands.

They put me on some saline breathlizer, steriods and benedryl. I am still itchy but the hives have subsided for the most part.

Yesterday, the fire department came to my rescue before the ambulance came. One of the firefigher giggled as he perused my DVD collection. I know what made him laugh... the juxtaposition of the movies "Pardon Me, But Is that your Dick up my Ass?"in between "Jem and the Holograms:The Complete First and Second Seasons" and "Pretty in Pink". I would have laughed to but I was too busy fighting to breathe.

In other news, Flavor of Love is like some twisted Fox reality series, in which Flavor Flav actually seems like a smart man with discerning taste. He has been giving the opportunity by UH1 to siff through trash until he finds the lady of his dreams. He tests them with real challenges like dinner at Red Lobster (I would have lost), sticking old people teeth back into old people and playing with kids swimming in raw eggs. These bitches really cry over him too. But the ones that are really not feeling him- it shows- because I know why I don't feel Flavor so I know how grossed out they feel.

The character "New York" looks like Busta Rhymes with a greesed out hair weave- which probably explains why we the public have not seen him around in a while. It is Busta Bust himself. He is seeking some Flavor of Love action- I know it will be revealed in the next couple of weeks so look out people. It is going to get serious.

First rule of work: Don't talk about Work.

But can I say that as an assistant, I now have an assistant and I have to monitor others that are above me. I'm management, damnit! Which probably answers why I am itchy with hives, wearing a big home sweater trying get the cat off of my lap so that I can run outside and enjoy my Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr holiday.

Oh I never told you the joke about me being apartment interviewed by some Connecticut Morgan Stanley/JP Morgan types in the upper east side.

Alpha Male: Yeah we really get along here. I remember when we got so wasted on one of those weird holiday weekends when there was nothing to do but get drunk...

Connecticut Slut to Alpha Male: yeah it was like Martin Luther King weekend... we got so trashed...

Yummicoco (in her head but still smiling in the face of ignorance): Are they fucking with me? I knew I shouldn't have come up here.

Alpha Male: yeah Martin Luther King Weekend... Dude, I remember you passed out in the doorway. What an insane weekend.

Connecticut Slut: yeah its always like that on Martin Luther King weekend.... you just get really trashed then you sleep in on Monday.

Alpha Male: yeah, I don't remember a Martin Luther King weekend that I did not get trashed.

Connecticut Slut: yeah me too.What day does Martin Luther King day fall on again?

Alpha Male: it was like January or February... anyway, yeah Martin Luther King weekend... man...

Yummicoco: Well, I have to go now. Thanks.

Alpha Male: Oh, ok. Well we'll let you know our decision by the end of the week.

I did not hear back from them. Either because there was no chemistry or because they did not feel comfortable living with a black girl. And now I live in Brooklyn.

HAVE A HAPPY MONDAY!