Banana Cake. Well! Well! Well!

Had to take my replacement (she's from the other building) around the office this evening. We ended up talking to one of the law temps...

Law temp: Yeah so my friend was crowned Ms. Def American and so what like she like whatever about it (not sure what she said exactly. I just wanted to finish showing the chatty girl the rest of the floor so that I could leave early but they are friends and I hate to be rude...)

Colette: Def? Like Rick Rubin and Russell Simmons?

Law temp: What? (confused) No, like "deaf". She's deaf. She can't hear.

Colette: Oh! I'm such an idiot. I thought that you were talking about Def Jam and like Rick Rubin or something.

Law temp: No but I am sure that my friend would find that very funny.

More for me. Bless my soul

Note to KKEGEL this morning:

did I tell you about the most delicious bread in the
whole wide world? vermont bread company's multigrain.
so good. not too sweet, not too nutty/grainy. amazing
with tuna. ah! [speed racer ] is hip to the
bread company too. she likes soft wheat.

in other news, I couldn't really feel the left side of
my arm yesterday. pins and needles. I could feel it all the way
to the tip of my pinkie. I took a walk last night in
order to spend one last night alone with my arm in the
event that I would lose it forever.

it feels a little less ginger ale now.

going to [sax ]'s tonight. went to blockbuster last
night. guess what I found...

MAYOR OF SUNSET STRIP!!!

rented that plus MONDO TRASHO (john waters) and THE MOTHER
(old lady screws a younger mustashioed man.
written by hanif kureshi--- my beautiful laundrette
and buddha of suburbia)


Finding free stuff on my desk since yesterday. Are these gifts? Or insults?

MONDAY: two opened half eaten boxes of chocolates. the fancy French kind with colorful designs on each candy.

TUESDAY: Shaun of the Dead on DVD

Saw two Jazz shows last Tuesday and Saturday nights: Billy Hart and Andrew Hill respectively. Then Friday at Sahara East, (east village) I asked Sax why all the young jazz cats of nyc are white dudes.

Sax: Fuck if I know...

Colette: Is it because of money? Resources? Is Jazz now a middle class artform?

Sax: All art is middle class(he's so smart)... Red Alert (DJ) wasn't poor growing up. John Coltraine never stuggled for money. His mother send him $25 every week... He wrote her thank you notes.

ANYONE READ THE SPECIAL IN THE NY TIMES ABOUT CLASS ISSUES?

Sax has a point. One needs money to be an artist in order to support their dream. But, Jay-Z is a product of the Marcy Projects in BK. Juvenile is a product of the Magnolia Projects in New Orleans... But these are only rappers. Have young Black people (people of color) moved on from Jazz/Blues because its a dying art or is it from a lack of resources and exposure? Do class issues relate to the importance of "bling"?

I grew up listening to David Bowie and Pavement. Sax thinks that the first Black Sheep record is incredible. No! I think that he hasn't been exposed to the good East Coast rap shit.

Well fuck if I know, I can't stop eating the delicious bread that I bought on Sunday. And, red bean buns from Chinatown! My food obsession has officially gone global! Going back to yoga tomorrow so as the rest my aching arm.

And I need more condoms.

And all the Jersey kids say "Meet ya at the bus"

Stole an issue of Out from an exec who probably would have thrown it away. Was just flipping through it, trying to find a picture of a nice haircut that I would like for Sax. I am going to accompany him to the barber's after work. Do you think it would embarrass/emasculate him if I showed pictures to the barber? Thrive magazine was attached to Out this month as well. Good magazine. Really helpful suggestions like drinking warm milk and honey if you have trouble sleeping, or eating ginger to improve circulation and stimulate nerve endings.

"From an erection standpoint," says reseacher John Mulhan of Cornell University, "anything that's good for your heart is good for your penis."

Saw Kasabian last night with KKEGEL. Her friend Harry who caught a kid wacking off to a comic at his comic book store job was there along with his suicide gal pal, Nat. Really surprised by how much I liked the show. I was never blown away by the album but their show changed my opinion of them dramatically. Serge Guitar player/keyboardest is so hot. KKEGEL told me that he is trying to get a date with Scarlett Johannsen. Tom, the lead singer, is like Ian Brown Stone Roses and Bobby Gillespie Primal Scream. Total 90s flavor which made me like them even more. There were some rowdy Brits at the show but I kept my elbows out and held my sack in front of my chest for protection. First band, Rock and Roll Soldiers, was great. I especially liked the drummer who whaled hard on the drums with his tongue sticking out for the whole set.

KKEGEL: you do like your animals...

Colette: I know.


Last Friday:

After running to Magnolia for ice box cake, cookies and cupcakes with Aeki Tuesday, Sax and Issac, we set forth on a journey to Clinton Hill, BK. Aeki and Sax argued over Gates and Classon streets, while I polished off the rest of the cake on our walk to the train station. Anyway, as we all pass one by one through the turnstile at the 4th st and 6th ave, Issac stops in his tracks.

Issac: (to Sax) Man, I don't think I have enough money.

Instead of lending him money, Sax tells Issac to jump the turnstile. He does. He immediately gets caught by the police.

Issac: I'm getting a ticket cuz of this fucker over here.

So as we watch Issac get a $60 ticket, there is a couple standing next to him who also got caught by the fuzz for the same offense. They were straight up Jersey style...

Their friends: Shit dude, do you want us to wait for yous?

The couple: Nah, you guys go ahead... Meet ya at the bus

Aeki and I, reformed Jersey girls still fraught with disfunctional pride, look at each other.

Colette: Did you hear that?

Aeki: Yeah. That's what we have to say from now on...

...And it all started with Wall Street Pee- Pee Pants.

When the Pupil is Ready, the Teacher appears.
— Buddha

I am joining a cool yoga school in Chelsea on Friday.

Saw The Bravery with Knuckles Molonley at Irving Plaza last night. Fun show! Ultragrrl was right- Five O'clock Heroes is a pretty cool band- but the next best thing? I don't think so. WHERE IS THE NEXT BEST THING?! But the lead singer was hot and Knuckles M. liked his flappy Duran Duran-esque shirt. The Ordinary Boys were like snotty frat boys trapped in British tattooed bodies. Boring. They covered "KKK took my baby away" so I asked Knuckles M. what his fave Ramones song was...

Knuckles M: Commando (I thought he said "Amanda")

Colette: Oh, I don't know that song. I like "I wanna have something to do"

Knuckles M: You mean, "I wanna sniff some glue"

Colette: No! I DON'T wanna sniff glue.

Then, Knuckles M. told me about a college friend who pissed himself into a drunken sleep inside Knuckles' bathtub years ago.


Colette: Oh, last week, as I was standing on 23rd and 6th [in front of the F train] I saw a businessman (sort of looked like Ron Pearlman from Hellboy) wearing a beautiful grey silk suit. He had disheveled blond hair and these large pee stains on the front of his pants.

WENT TO BED AROUND 1:30am.

Sax is playing Arlene's Grocery with a band that he describes as having a "faggot-y sound" on Wednesday. Whatever its a gig. We are going to see Andrew Hill (Haitian jazz musician) on Thursday.

Going to see Kasabian (are you going, Jenny?) tonight with KKEGEL.

Can't wait for relaxation and all the stretching starting Friday.

I need to de-carb

Nothing to write about today. Just chilling at my desk, wasting time. Sax visited me yesterday just as my roommate retreated to her room for the night and just before Lex came over to crash for the night. Woo-hoo! Made him some darjeeling tea...

Sax: Its Dar-JEEEE-ling

Lit some pomergrante candles before Lex arrived. Drunk.

Lex: Can I have some cheese?

Watched The Office (British style) this morning. Wow, the first episode is exactly the same as the American version's first episode. Now, I think that the American one is a little bit lame.

This weekend:

-Crash Mansion tonight
-Bachelorette Dinner at Mangia e Bevi then Alice Ayers birthday at Sweet and Vicious tomorrow
-Work at the Food Co-op (?) I'm like persona non grata there. Its been three months since my last trip to the hippie supermarket.


keep it gangsta

I got a job

Really great opportunity. I e-mailed my resignation to HR this morning. I told this one guy at my job...

Guy at job: So you are going to drag out the goodbye for like the next two weeks?

Colette: yeah, I am going to do it like Everybody loves Raymond or Dawson's Creek.

Guy at job: yeah, or like Terry Shiavo

Is there a girl in there?

Highlights from Mother's Day Weekend:

- got busted for being in the boys bathroom at Whole Foods yesterday evening. "Is there a girl in there?" Spend 50 bucks on nothing including some high class mayonaise. My egg salad sandwich was delish this afternoon.

- helped Mom take Tiger the cat to the vet for his annual on Saturday. Forced to put the almost 20 pounder cat into a tv box cuz he no longer fits into his kennel. It was ghetto. We duct taped the top of the box and I cut out huge holes so that he could breathe.

- saw Look at Me at the angelika while Sax fell asleep. cute.

- ate rice pudding at Rice to Riches.

- met up with Lex at the Black Door. Then we met up with Poop at a party on the corner of clinton and delancey st.

Sax: Poop is cool.

Colette: Do you think he's a mench?

Sax: yeah, sure.

I am stingy with words: All binge no purge

On the F this morning, train stops at Smith/9th st. A tall man with long grey hair walks in from the back of train car. He is wearing a yellowish colored suede button-down, black work pants and those big leather boots with the "o" buckles on the sides. His hair billowing in the wind like a sail, his aviator glasses protecting his eyes from the bright sun rays. I watch him as he moves to the front my train car. I think to myself "he's probably the devil".

Sax got on my nerves yesterday so I told him to fuck off. We hang out a lot together which is awesome cuz we like to do the same things but when I tell him to fuck off he best gets to stepping cuz I ain't playin.

But is it co-dependancy? Just now, I called him to help me pick out a perfect muffin at Bazzini's. Banana Nut- It was between that and the three berry muffin. I told Sax that he is slowly sucking all the life out of me.

Sax: uh, yes.

Tonight, I (ALONE) am going to hang with my friend Estelle (who is getting MARRIED in Hawaii next month) at Link for drinks.

I like Burt's Bees Milk and Honey for my hands

This morning. At my desk while contemplating my lack of style and overall loserdom, the mailroom guys came onto my floor with mail and jokes...

the guys: yo, Colette, have you been working out? your arms look mad diesel.

Colette: yeah, its cuz I am fat.

So there you have it. I am officially the Michelin Man reincarnated, answering phones at a film company. The radical re-vamping of Coco starts tomorrow.

Went to Philly this weekend with Sax. Sunday, I was the first to wake up so I turned to him...

Colette: It's 8:30!

Sax: You're 8:30!

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

We stayed at the Lowes Hotel on Market St. Watched Misty Beetohven with Sunset Thomas, Chloe and the very musical penis, Randy Spears. We ate a whole pint of Ben and Jerry's and argued over Boston. Not the super group but the city. He bought records. We saw Brunel/Dali's Un Chien Andalou at the museum. Nice museum. There was an asian section that screamed Karate Kid Part II. We jumped on the beds and stole the hotel robes. It was a good hang.

NOW IF I COULD JUST FIND A KICK ASS JOB AND LOSE 1,000 POUNDS