My Candle Burns at Both Ends

and I don't think that it will make it through the night....

I don't pretend to know everything. I know I know nothing. I know that people know I that know nothing. I talk out of my ass because basically all that I know about life came from Dawson's Creek and what my family told me I was supposed to believe. The line above comes from an Edna St. Vincent Millay poem. Am I quoting her correctly? No. Do I care to check online for the correct quotation? No. Am I using the word "quotation" correctly? Maybe. Will this blog totally suck ass? Yes. Will there be grammatical errors? Yes. Will there be pictures? No. Will you think that I am lame and ridicule my self indulgence? Perhaps. Maybe it will keep you interested.

I am long winded, aloof. I believe in love and God, and I believe in myself. I am a hopeless romantic.

To me, Edna's words speak to obvious things... the fast life of New York... hooking up with strange Indian men behind the exit sign of a club called EXIT... my frustrations... the unbearable lightness of being. Time moves so quickly, its hard not to want to drown yourself in your own bathwater to stop your head from spinning. Death is too easy. Lacks drama. I'd rather be destroyed by the excitement. Do I really mean that? No. I have no idea what I want out of life. I am afraid of failure.

Before you completely write me off and not want to read this ever again...Let's begin with the brief origins of YUMMICOCO...

Paris 2001--my daddy, ALIX(pronounced AA-Leeics) paid for me to spend the first half of the summer in Paris at my cousins' flat in the 15th.

So, I was talking to my sisters, SANDRA and FRANCOISE, on speaker phone late one night. My cousin, MICHAELLE, yelled out from the bathroom in the back of the living room/bedroom/one room shitty apartment that my sister SANDRA had been avoiding her AOL Instant messages quite rudely. Her screenname was YUMMIKIKA...

"Well, I thought it was porno or something". SANDRA said. She jumps to conclusions about everything. She is in therapy now.

"No, c'etait moi, SANDRA. No porno."

We laughed. It was all very lame. But I thought that her name was so so cutesy so I said...

"I'll be YUMMICOCO, then" Always talking out of my ass. My friend, PICKLE, thinks that I am uncomfortable with comfortable silence...

YUMMIKIKA's brother, CHRISTIAN (16) found this all very amusing....

"COLETTE, you know what coco means in Creole right?" he asks. We are Haitian but I don't speak Creole so of course I said no...

pussy

perfect.